THIS GRAPHIC SHOT SHOWS THE REMAINS OF SOME POOR UNSUSPECTING BEACHCOMBER WHO IGNORED THE WARNINGS LAST AUTUMN!
DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!
State of Florida BE ADVISED! IT IS COMING! BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES! HIDE YOUR VALUABLES (LIQUOR) AND STAY AWAY FROM THE BEACH...DANGEROUS WHIRLING SAND! EVACUATE!!!!
THE OUTER BANDS OF THE PICKLED HENS OF PONTE VEDRA ARE ESTIMATED TO HIT PVB SOMETIME AROUND NOON EST THURSDAY SEPTMEBER 30TH
LOCAL BUSINESSES HAVE BEEN ON ALERT SINCE A STATEWIDE BULLETIN WAS ISSUED. THOSE EXPECTING UNUSUALLY HIGH DEPLETIONS OF STOCK INCLUDE GARY'S SEAFOOD & LOCAL LIQUOR STORES WITHIN 2 MILES OF CORONA AND PVB BOULEVARD
A SMALL CRAFT WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR BUTLER BLVD from 2 -4 PM AS A SECOND SURGE IS EXPECTED TO HEAD IN FROM THE WEST ON I-10 WITH WINDSPEEDS BETWEEN 75-85 mph
BEACH EVACUATIONS HAVE BEEN ISSUED FOR A 4 MILE SWATH SOUTHWARD FROM THE INN DOWN TO SAWGRASS VILLAGE AS THIS IS THE ESTIMATED STORM PATH FOR HENS, according to CAPTAIN RICHARD S. LONG of the COAST GUARD. HE ALSO CAUTIONED FOR THE PUBLIC TO BE ON ALERT FOR POSSIBLE COAST GUARD IMPERSONATORS wearing badges and bikinis!
IF ANYONE SEES THESE 'PERSONS OF INTEREST'
PLEASE CALL 1-800-BCHRESQ SO WE MAY FLY A HELICOPTER TO THE LOCATION AND 'EXTRACT' THEM FOR FURTHER INVESTIGATIVE PURPOSES
STAY TUNED TO THIS BLOG FOR MORE UPDATES!
THIS IS GUEST BLOGGER & CABANA BOY JIM CANTORI, WEARING A SPEEDO AND SHOUTING INTO THE WIND, FOR lulu redstar!
Hey Jim, thanks for braving the winds of chance to bring this life saving message. Be careful you don't get hogtied with wet bikini tops!
ReplyDeleteDebbie
If you, brave Jim, are *un*fortunate enough to be hogtied with those wet bikini tops, don't forget to issue a BOLO for floating fried eggs! hee hee! Best of luck to Jim and PVB over the next few stormy days!
ReplyDeleteHilarious!
ReplyDelete