Sunday, June 20, 2010

THE 'Y CHROMOSOME FACTOR'

i Know...it's Father's Day.  Happy Father's Day to all the mens to whom it applies.  Being that it is so male-centric today I thought I would offer up a THEORY about the male species.  Yes---they are a species unto themselves.  How many of you disagree?  see?

Okay.  It's simple...Women have XX chromosomes.  Mens have XY chromosomes...THEREIN LIES THE MADNESS....

I have determined from a 17 year study on one particular Male and several ancillary unsuspecting victims participants in said study that the Y chromosome is responsible for an action or nonaction and a REACTION.  To wit:

First Example:
Male walks into room wearing old, ratty "I'm With Stupid " t-shirt, gross jeans and flipflops in preparation to celebrate FEMALE's birthday dinner which SHE is making.
FEMALE then poses the following :  WHY are you wearing that to my birthday dinner?  WHY am I making my own dinner?

Second Example:
Male says to Female:  "You left that hat outside after YOU mowed the 3 acres.  It has dirt all over it. I put it on the wrought iron chair."
Female to Male:  WHY didn't you just bring it in?  WHY was it necessary to speak of this?  WHY don't you pick up your $^&$#( newspapers each day?

Third Example:
Male says to Female:  "I'm hungry.  Is there anything to eat?"
Female to Male:  WHY don't you open up the fridge and look for something. 
Male:  "I did.  I didn't see anything.
FEMALE:  WHY DON"T YOU OPEN THE SNACK COMPARTMENT AND LOOK IN THERE.
Male:  'oh...I didn't think to do that..."

FOURTH EXAMPLE:
Male and Female driving on trip
MALE:  'Gee, we're almost out of gas.'   *Says this as they drive by exit with 15 gasoline stations*
FEMALE:  WHY didn't you get off of that last exit for gas?"
MALE": 'oh, I didn't see the signs."

FIFTH EXAMPLE:
Same Male and Femal driving on trip.  Get off at remote EXIT for GAS...Male drives and takes a left.  goes 6 miles and finds gas station.  Sees signage for State Road which he SAW exit sign for 5 miles back on hwy.
INSTEAD OF going back the way they came...MALE takes STATE ROAD BECAUSE.....
"Well, I'm sure it will run right into the Highway.  (MALE AND FEMALE have NEVER been to this spot-EVER)
FEMALE to Male after driving 30 minutes:   WHY DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING? WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK DIRECTIONS BACK AT THE 'BAIT, TACKLE, GUN,BEER & BAIL BONDSMAN JOINT?
WHY?

I would love to have other SCIENTIFIC feedback and commentary on a world-wide pandemic I feel we are facing!  It is critical to our survival!
xo
Professor lulu

8 comments:

  1. ALL the reasons WHY I'm NO long MARRIED!!! Gotta tell you, 22 years was enough for me! Thanks for the post and making me smile.

    Take care, Sue

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  2. are you a fly living on the wall of my marriage?! couldn't have said it better! think there should be a WIFE DAY!

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  3. Girl, it is a simple scientific equation:

    testosterone + penis > brain matter

    Pure and simple. Men are NOT the sharpest knives in the drawer...NOT the brightest crayon in the box...NOT the sharpest tool in the shed! Men ARE two sandwiches shy of a picnic...ARE one quarter short of a dollar...ARE a few cards short of a full deck.

    See how easy that was? Do you understand now?

    Oh, Happy Father's Day to all of you who are a brick short of a full load!

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  4. LULU NAMED THIS BLOG CORRECTLY, IT SURE IS A PLACE FOR SOME HENS TO CACKLE. IT'S A DAM SHAME Y'ALL DON'T KNOW A REAL MAN, BUT HELL IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT THAT YOU SAT THERE AND BELIEVED ALL THAT B.S.FROM YOUR GUYS. OF COURSE, MOST OF THE WOMAN THAT I HAVE MET LEAVE SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED.
    LAST BUT NOT LEAST, THANKS FOR ALL THE KIND WISHES!!

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  5. See, Ladies...a volunteer to reiterate my theory: WHY does this man think? :)
    Thank you Larry! love you more! xo

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  6. Wow girl - what's got your feathers ruffled?!!

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  7. Oh you have got me giggling. Roaring actually. It's hard to type when roaring.
    Then there's the gallon milk jug sitting in the fridge with 2 swallows of milk left in it...and the next time he goes to get milk, what does he do? he opens the new jug. Why? well, because there wasn't enough milk in the other one of course!
    Oh, i could go on and on!
    I enjoyed this. Immensely.

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